This week began with a simple thought: I’m going to have a perfect week.
I thought, yes that sounds delightful. I’m going to manifest that. This week is going to seriously kick ass. But then something weird happened…I started having a not so perfect week. And here’s why:
My week was not perfect because of my relationship with the word perfect.
You see, for me, if something is perfect it has to be above and beyond. It has to be the best thing in the world ever and anything below that is subpar. So I found myself this week judging myself…harshly. Telling myself I wasn’t doing enough, achieving enough, present enough, making enough, spending enough time with my family, writing enough, skinny enough, and the list went on and on.
Are you being too hard on yourself?
If I’m being 100% honest with you I spent my week in comparisson. Everyone else is doing better than me. Everyone else is having more fun. Everyone else is more successful. Everyone else has their shit together. Everyone else is a better mom. Everyone else is a better wife. It was ugly, my friends.
And I asked myself again, am I being too hard on myself?
Then something fantastic happened. I discovered a note I had written to myself a year ago. On the envelope it read “open on March 19.” So I opened it and read the words from my own hand that I needed to hear:
You’ve come a long way. Standing here today as a mother, wife, and seeker of consciousness. Honor yourself for all the steps, all the struggles, and all the blissful moments that have made you who you are. Your perfectionist mentality has sometimes kept you from looking back on your accomplishments. And there have bee many. Stop. Breathe. Listen. Honor yourself….love yourself always, Suki
Wow. Imagine if I spent more time honoring my journey and realizing the accomplishments I have already achieved, instead of telling myself that it wasn’t enough.
The world moves in cycles and every time I think I have my perfectionism under control, it rears up again to let me know there is still work to do.
So let me recount all the amazing opportunities, experiences and things that happened this week. Because it WAS a perfect week:
- I agreed to be part of the Whole-Hearted Living Summit in May along with some amazing speakers and enlightening souls
- Mishka has been communicating so well and I just love seeing her grow.
- I wrote another chapter on the book I am working on, a channeled and inspirational book about earth angels.
- My husband is being so supportive at home. We go on long walks together as a family.
- I talked to four earth angels this week and potential clients.
- My article on healing mandalas appeared on Yoga Lifestyles magazine.
- A book I ordered on Amazon came in, “The Book of Knowing and Worth” by Paul Selig
- I took a beautiful walk in the park by myself and saw so many butterflies.
- It rained.
- The days moved slowly. So I could cherish them.
- I began work on a worldwide summit for Lightworkers called Lightworkers Rise Up.
- I had a dream about a spiritual adventure with Rebecca Campbell and have sworn to reach out to her.
Hmm. It WAS a great week. Maybe not a perfect week, but perhaps the problem is in my definition of perfect.
I spoke with a good friend yesterday and she reminded me how we manifest based on our Own statements and affirmations. She said:
“I am abundant. I am amazing. I am accomplished.”
I love that so I am going to use it now. I also came across an old song that gives me goosebumps. Exactly by Amy Steinberg. The lyrics are:
I am exactly where I need to be. I need to be exactly where I am. I am a blessing manifest.
If you’re being hard on yourself, like I have been, write down 10 things you accomplished this week. Write down 10 blessings. Write down 10 “I am” statements. I’ve always believed we are where we are meant to be.
And my anxiety comes from living in the future. Wanting to know what’s next instead of taking time with what’s here.
Focusing on a “perfect week” has taught me so much. And the most important lesson has been to be gentle with myself.
I am exactly where I need to be. ✨